my first time..

this is the very first time i get my salary in my life..
haha
the mood is so so good~
although it is the salary for 6 working days in this month only
but the feeling is so nice..=)
maybe is becos this is the first time i get money with putting effort on it..^^
and i trust that it will be my motivation on my job...LOL

can't wait..

finally he plans to find me on this coming friday night...
but hope he can get the bus ticket to come here since saturday will be the public holiday
this plan makes me feel excited all the time and always in good mood..LOL
my dad stays the cool mode while my mum is showing a very welcome mood to him
this makes me feel funny because first time see my mum doing like this
she still helps me tell my dad and ask me don't bother my dad...XD
but at last my dad got tell me which hotel of my place nice to stay and allow me go out wid him on whole saturday..
this makes me feel happy and decrease my worry..haha~
anyway,can't wait to reach friday and wish there is ticket to let him come over here..LOL

finally..

finally the company i handle for 3 days end soon..
and i really thanks to the girl who guide me to do the account
but another sad thing to me is she will leave the company soon..
really wish me can handle everything once she leave
god bless me..

i forced to on-leave on monday since i not yet register my EPF..
and it means i will lost one day salary because i'm still in trial of employee
haiz..
i found that i really become sensitive to the money now..
before i would never think about the price of the foods i ate
and now i start to select the foods that cost cheaper..=.=''
really different from before..lol
tmr is friday~
saturday faster come!!
why only worked for 4 days made me feel like worked for many weeks already..?? ><
is it learn too many things and absorb too many new knowledge..??
really wish my brain can back to 13 or 14 yrs old..lol
anyway,hwaiting to me ♥

BUSY LIFE

to me now,everyday is busy
since i wake up early and sleep early everyday
the time i spending on working is more than i staying at home..
and i'm now waiting for weekend everyday..XD
juz wish can rest since busy everyday..lol

TODAY

today is my 2nd day of working..
it was better than yesterday since everything move smoothly
but there is another challenge waiting for me since my senior gave me a project that she did it before and asked me try to do it..
hope i can handle it tomorrow
hwaiting =)

dun know why
maybe is because of new environment
i start to become the person who same with secondary school
not dare to talk and keep silent always...
the only way i can release myself is in front of Monster Family..

finally i reach home at 6:40pm just now..
it means i better leave office at 5:40pm...
lol
i must learn to smile everyday
and i hope it can bring me luck everyday..^^
♥

hate+stress...!!!

today is my first day of working...
have many feelings here...
i hate traffic jam for the journey going to work and going back from work...
a 20 minutes journey become 1 hours...
really pek cek!!
it is all because of the road reconstructions!!
hate it alot!!
it makes me have to reach home near 8pm.. T.T

besides,my stress comes and finds me on the very first day..
it is because the company i'm working now is singapore tax service and audit company,
but i'm work as an account executive so i have to collect the information from clients and prepare the financial statements and journals via singapore accounting software..
it confuses me alot..!!
there are many singapore companies' financial information need to be handled and the understanding on the information provided is very important
besides, the companies who are under GST policy have different treatment..
this makes me feel very very stress since it really totally different from the knowledge gained from university..
the real life experience is really 'amazing' so i have to 'deserve' it... T.T
actually dun know whether my choice is correct or not
start to work in a challenging company
but fortunately my colleagues are quite nice and kind
hope they won't feel troublesome when i asking for their help..><

i just want to say,
GOD BLESS ME PLEASE
wish i can work smoothly and alright always..

nervous..

i start to feel nervous because of tomorrow
it will be my first day of working
i think i will take bus to the working place since i dun know the parking fee for whole working hours is how much..
i really hope that i can find friends on the first day
it will be another stage of my life..
there are different kinds of people and different levels of age
so it also means different personality i will meet in working place
wish i can work with happy and enjoy it
hwaiting to myself =)

HAPPY~♥

today is another turning point of my mood
i become happier because i just change back my hairstyle to straight hair
my lovely straight hair is finally back~~!!!
damn happy while i saw the result come out from the hairstylist
it was only 4 months for me that i had a curly hair but i had been facing lots of problem from taking care of it...><
for me 4 months is quite suffer since i really beh tahan on it..!! LOL
curly hair is really hard to care since it became very dry and very 'loose' (松散)
besides, my hair easy to get knot..
and it made my hair easy to drop compare with straight hair!!
the main reason i feel very happy is because my straight hair makes me looked younger...!! XD
finally i can comb my hair since it has a rule that avoid to comb the hair while it was curl...=.=''
'change hairstyle can also change mood' has made sense since i'm the example...!!
i have a very good mood now with this straight hair and i love it so so much~~
muacksss~~!!

it's friday...

it's friday again
but this friday makes me remember about last friday..
i spent my last friday at genting highland with all my lovely friends and sisters as well as my babe ♥
this friday reminds me also i had passed last few days with sad mood
i admit that i had cried for four days and yesterday was the first day i never cried...
i really shouldn't become so sad
as my babe said,'we all still in one planet'
lol
actually this is a funny sentence when come out from his mouth
but it really makes sense
ya,we not only in one planet
we still in one land,Malaysia
so i should feel happy =)
and i promise him i won't cry again...
but i have an only hope is, he can find a job here and i pray for him everyday also..
all the best babe ♥
i wish u luck and for those my friends who from indonesia (winni and andrie) can find job in Malaysia successfully...
hwaiting ~~

平淡 & 无趣

这个星期的生活太平淡了
平淡到我都不知道过了几天
整天重复一样的事情
我应该这个星期就开始工作的
这样我就不会想太多
也不会太悲伤
难怪有些歌曲会唱到用忙碌来忘记悲伤
看来我将会理解那样的心情
其实我真的很希望他能在这里找到工作
我不想因为国籍问题变成我们的问题
虽然我知道又是我想太多

最近每个下午都下雨
都让我想起以前我很喜欢的一首歌
听了又很悲的歌
我家人说我话变少了
笑容少了
可是我就是不想讲，不想笑
我也拿自己没办法
只有在听到他的声音我才有办法释放最真的自己
我感觉到我变了
不像以前的我
是不习惯少了他的陪伴
还是我不敢面对现实
我承认我太懦弱了
禁不起考验
我到底会行尸走肉到几时呢?
唉..
加油吧..
我对自己说...

Never know...

I never know that I could love you that much..
when you were beside me and the time we always stick together
I couldn't know I will sad like this...
I thought I prefer friends than you when i was at campus
but after I come back here
I think you are important to me the most since the main thing that can make my tears everyday is you...
distance makes me cannot hug and touch you..
and it suffers me alot...
everynight I miss your hug and everytime when I hear your voice thru the phone...
it warms me and comfort me alot..
but it makes me cry also
because I cannot see your face and feel you...
you're really important to me you know?
everything becomes mess without you...
I can laugh loudly because of some funny things but then suddenly turn to cry...
I become silent at home and moody always...
I keep on planning when I can go and find you or you come and find me...
I enjoy the shower time because it is the only time belong to me and my family wouldn't find me cry inside...
really hard to do everything without you...
every day and night I keep thinking of you...
thinking of what you doing there...
but very happy that we had our first webcam since I come back here...
finally I can see your smile and see your expression...
but I still cannot touch you...><
anyway,it does make my great night...^^
I know you are facing problem in finding job...
but I will always pray for you =)
hwaiting babe ♥
let's hwaiting for our future..
don't let distance become our problem and i trust you always...
the only thing that I can't control myself is missing you...
I just wanna say
'babe,I love you...♥'

失望...

今天早上本来打算明天回一趟nilai
所以我就问了我妈妈
她说可以
但是爸爸不让我去..
真的很伤心..!!
我马上跑到厕所哭..
唉...
我知道才回到这里还没几天
我就已经顶不住了..
我是不是很没用...??

今天..

今天我终于找到工作了
可是我完全没有准备
只有因为我没那种心情
还正在处于那种伤心的状态
所以当我得到工作时
也没有任何心情起伏

我很想他...
我很想你们...
我现在真的很想大喊
我怕会闷出病来
刚刚听到电台播的歌曲
首首充满回忆
当我听到王菲的‘我愿意’和陶喆的‘爱很简单’时，
眼泪马上掉下
真的很想他...
好像抱他...
真的...
思念是一种很玄的东西

每次听到他从电话传出来的声音
让我很激动
又必须掩饰我的情绪
眼睛充满泪水跟他通话
只怕让他听到我哭...
好难受...
这种相见却不能见的感觉真的最痛..!!

Babe,我真的很想你..
我会尽量过得开心一点...
只要有机会
我会马上去找你..
你也要加油哦..
♥

脆弱..

今天我真正离开学校
也暂时和他展开远距离恋情
这种同时和朋友，爱人一起分开的感觉很难承受
我的心痛了一整天
空荡荡了一整天
我从来没有过这种感觉
很无助
看回我们的照片
百感交集的泪水不断滑落
在家人面前
我不敢哭
我想，就算我哭了
他们也应该不明白我的感受吧
所以只能在夜晚和洗澡的时候哭

在刚才和他道别时
心里还没那么难受
但是真正到家
发现3个小时车程的距离还是让我禁不住泪水
我可能有一段时间不能得到他的拥抱
有一段时间我看不到他的笑容
有一段时间我摸不到他的温度...
真的很没有安全感
我不知道我能不能度过这段艰难的时期...

一到家
我才发现我第一次不愿意回家
一边整理我的东西
一边强忍泪水
真的很痛苦
我怀念大家一起欢乐的日子
我怀念我和他一起的日子
我怀念他喜欢硬抱着我不放的感觉
我怀念他的冷笑话
我怀念很多很多...
但现在我不能真正拥有...
很空虚...

14 ♥ 5 ♥ 2011

今天对我来说是百感交集的一天
很多很多回忆不断涌现
让我不知所措
不舍得就这么结束
不甘愿时间过得如此快
让我觉得我在这里的日子就像一场美梦
有喜怒哀乐
这不就是人生吗??

在这里遇到的人事物
拥有不同的回忆
虽然我们有过矛盾，误会和不理解
但是想了想
与其花时间在无谓的事情上
不如珍惜每一天
就像我开始后悔不久前自己闹得别扭
现在觉得自己太傻了

今天我们从云顶回来
大多数朋友已经回家
下午和朋友们一一道别
在巴士上
根本没心情睡
只是不断怀疑时间为什么过得那么快
转眼三天就像一天那样迅速消失

刚才洗完澡后
看到小诗已经收拾完毕即将离开
我只是匆匆忙忙的对她挥了挥手
然后迅速把门关上
我就知道我的眼泪会不受控制
仿佛准确的倒数
在门关上的刹那
眼泪直接流下

我最讨厌离别
讨厌在快乐过后的失落感
那种感觉像是慢性折磨
突然的空虚感让人承受不了
好像梦醒过后才发现刚刚发生的只是美梦一场
曾经一起吃午晚餐
曾经一边洗澡，一边聊天
曾经一起疯狂吃
好多好多的曾经
都只是曾经了
我相信未来很少机率能像曾经那样玩了...

感谢我的大学生涯有你们
不然我将不会知道真正的疯狂叫什么
朋友，姐妹们
加油了
等着你们在事业上的成就
两个月后我们就能在毕业典礼上再次见面了
那将会是我的动力 =)

RELAX

今天我终于完成了最后一张试卷
现在的我突然觉得很空虚
因为好像即将离开学校
离开好朋友们
唉．．．

过两天就要和朋友毕业旅行了
希望我的emo feel 不要再来找我了
在那几天
我要体验的是友谊
我不喜欢因为拍拖
然后就把我们憋在一旁
我也想像之前那样玩
希望你们可以体谅我

这几天真的是够了
哭也哭够了
每天哭
真的怕眼睛会掉下来
希望今晚开始
我的生命再次充满笑容和热情
既然讲开了
我希望迎来的是更坚固更美满的友情
你们要知道
我在乎友情胜于爱情．．．

♥

我太笨..

这是第几次我又为了同一件事哭呢...
一次又一次
我还以为我应付得来
可以麻痹了
可是我还是太脆弱了
我之所以伤心是因为在乎
可是不说你却不懂
说了怕你内疚
可是最后我还是说了
为什么我有那种要你可怜我的感觉呢
是我的妒忌心太强吗
我也不知道
还是这是三人行必经的过程
总有两个是比较好的
另一个就自求多福
我也受够了那么没用的自己
我，就是脆弱
我，就是爱哭
我，就是在乎..